Memories of Bali
Life in reflection | February 25, 2020It has nearly been a year since Pierre and I were in Bali, but time seems to have passed without us realizing how quickly it went. And here I am, just about to share with you this batch of images that we took, reminiscing while I'm at it, remembering all the beautiful memories, imagining the sound of the waves crashing as we looked onto the horizon awaiting sunset.
This isn't the way I imagined I would share the news of where our wedding would take place. Two years ago, I would have planned a dedicated post with accompanying images, which would most probably be the outcome of a prenup pictorial. I still want it that way. But since moving to KL, I have failed to realize until now that I've been changing and turning into a person I don't recognize.
Don't get me wrong, I'm still the same Carla that started this blog so many years ago. I still have the same energy, drive, and passion, albeit poured into other things than getting creative and doing things for myself, like blogging, taking pictures, dressing up, and traveling for fun. I think I've been in denial for the past months, unable to accept that those have slowly faded away while I succeeded in other aspects of my life. The only thing keeping this site and my Instagram account up and running is my inner creative, desperately holding on to the history of creating all these.
My peers consider me lucky to have a job that allows me to travel and be in a position where I have autonomy. And I agree. For the most part, I'm thankful to have this opportunity at my age. I know others have had to work long hours and way harder than I did to get where I am. I don't deny that. But deep down, I now know I wasn't fully prepared to face everything that came with it. Spiderman got it right, you know. With great power comes great responsibility. In my defense, I don't think I'm unqualified. I'm doing pretty well, if I do say so myself. The real question is, though, do I really want this lifestyle? Does it mean giving up all the things that I used to do and used to love doing?
I don't know the answer. And I won't know in a few weeks' time too. But the fact that I'm doubting my interest makes it an immediate 60/40 that I'm not willing to give up the kind of life that I lived longer than now. If that makes sense at all.
Anyway, I yield. Let me just pretend that I'm back in Bali, away from these dark thoughts on busyness and gloom of city work life, safe within the walls of our private villa in the heart of Uluwatu. Calm. Serene. Peaceful. And if I did go out, it would be to one of these Art Markets, where my eyes and heart would be filled with appreciation for the artsy knick knacks that Bali has quite become known for. Or we'd go to one of the forests or temples to monkey-watch. Take lots of instagram-worthy photos because that's just what I'd like to do. Not having to think about any responsibilities or anyone else. Maybe I just need another island getaway. But don't we, always?
Browsing through my archived post drafts, I'm reminded of the excitement that I used to feel preparing each entry to share with the world through this little corner of mine in cyberspace; of being able to look back at the memories I made, with Pierre, be it travelling or the day to day #OOTD shoots we used to do. I never thought I'd be able to step away from all that. I guess my takeaway from this situation I'm is that yeah, maybe I can forget for a minute but I know I'll always have that in me that I will always keep going back.
Here's hoping to making more documented memories.